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have become much more enjoyable. Besides, who really believes you cant help who you love? The discussion surrounding how that came to be is a conversation for another day but what we do know is, on average, Black American men identify as Christian more than their peers, attend church regularly at a rate that exceeds their peers, and say that. My nationality, however, is a whole different story but this wasnt always the case. Statistically, Im sure that guy exists somewhere.

I had exclusively dated Black men up to that point, finding commonality in the fact that we were both Black and both American-born, but my perception of marriage and relationships had undoubtedly been shaped by my West African father and my American Baby-Boomer Uncles. . But the reality was that I couldnt keep trying to create him out of men with missing pieces. Operating with a double mindedness that on one hand desires the security that men are culturally expected to provide, and on the other feels obligated to protect our men from the embarrassment of not being able. I mean I was the quintessential Black Woman on her journey to self-rediscovery. We are engaged on the issue and committed to looking at options that support our full range of digital offerings to the EU market. This, for me, has never been negotiable but one thing I had to accept was that for this to ever be a viable option, a certain level of income had to be maintained in the household. If we applied the same philosophy to any of the other milestones acknowledged in our society, it would sound pretty absurd.

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Initially, I felt bad. A couple of years ago, after a string of failed relationships, I took some time to reevaluate my whole damn life. Various factors played into this phenomenon which has yet to be identified in any other ethnic group. Sure, I had developed some great communication skills, learned a lot about compromise and partnership, and even more about realistic partner expectations. I was dealing not only with ignorance on the part of my spiritual beliefs, but I was also dealing with the unconscious bias that many have towards practices that derive from African culture. If five to 10 years of casual dating has resulted in nothing but heart ache, emotional baggage and unresolved trauma, then its your responsibility to explore what you can change to fix that aspect of your life. Copyright 2018, Chicago Tribune. I was dating men for their potential, not the realities of who they were and that was.

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